The oxidenoi are fascinating creatures, the likes of which are rarely seen in daylight. These microbes possess potent anti-aging properties which reduce the built-up sundamage in your epidermis. It's all about the SPF, baby. Not only do these creatures absorb 100% of UV-rays (UVB, UVA I, and II) but they also release potent anti-oxidants which reduce your free-radicals preventing further damage. On top of that, they are the first known substance to instantly promote the regeneration of subcutaneous collegen. Pretty sweet, huh? Too bad there aren't any left because I've bottled them all.
Again, that description is based purely on what the word looked like (this is turning into somewhat of a literary Rorschach test), but the definition is far too painful and most likely boring for the majority of my audience and disturbing for the rest. I must warn you however, it's getting might late and I have to type stream-of-consciousness to fill this with the correct amount of content. By the end it's probably going to look like I'm just generating Markov chains to create this text but I assure you that's not the case. No markov is involved, just adenosine.
Right then, moving along!...